I miss the bears and the cougars

Ahh, how I miss the stories last year that seemed to have the nation panicked about bears and cougars and other large, people-eating types of animals.

I remember when I read a cougar was eating mountain bikers, I laughed. Yeah, I'm a real bastard. I know that and apparently you do too. I felt bad for the guy's family and I guess him, but still- what do you expect when you go riding in areas like that? Them to give you a high five and fill your water bottle? Hell no. You're prey. They're gonna' eat your mountain biking ass. It's part of the circle of life. When people start encroaching on wild animal habitat, wild animals are going to do shit. Like eat people.

It's like when some dumb ass sticks his arm in the bear cage at the zoo. What's gonna' happen? The bear is going to pull your fucking arm off. Don't be so stupid. That's why they put barriers up. To keep you from getting eaten, not because they're trying to be killjoys.

But it's nice to know we haven't conquered it all. It's comforting to know polar bears hunt people, bucks in a rut will gore some dumbass who isn't paying attention and cougars will make it down into town once in a while and eat someone. It's not as bad as all that. Really. It good to be humble.