I Dunno . . . . .

You ever sit down in front of your computer, feel like writing something but all that comes to your head is shit?

The Card Cheat is playing in my earphones. I love this damn song. I can almost see it being a graphic novel about a time traveler. I've more or less written it in my head. If only I could get motivated to do more than just think about it.

And I bitch about that about myself all the time - my lack of follow through. Maybe it's because I'm lazy. Maybe it's because I don't know how to end it so I never begin it. Or maybe it's because I realize, honestly realize, that I'm a hack. If I never produce anything, no one will ever now how big of a hack I am.

I'm good at my job. But I'm not great. I've made myself valuable, but not so valuable they didn't want to hire a boss for me. I wanted help, I got supervision. And why? It boils down to that for all my try and pluck, I'm a hack. Perhaps if I took some classes about html and junk I'd be worth more, but we get to the lack of follow through again.

Please don't mistake this for some sort of pity party. I think it's good to realize one's faults. I'd hate to think I was great and find out I was just a hack. Instead of going down, I can only go up. Assuming I get the follow-through thing handled.