Hey All

When you see that someone you love or all the people you love, stop and tell them so. Give them hug or a kiss or both.

"Bob Dylan's Dream" Is Stuck in My Head, Ears

I had a dream lastnight about the me and the missus and the tart and her boy and my brother and one of my cousins. Nothing interesting, except for the fact we were all together and I was trying to balance the excitement of the tart visiting with catching up with my brer and my cousin.

It's also hard to find anything to post about. There's lots. But I read a post by someone that was absolutely crushing and made me think about all the chaos in my life and how none of it matters. Not when it's the big stuff. The stuff that matters. I keep saying it. I just need to keep remembering it. This chaos will sort itself out and will be forgotten or laughed about over beers down the road. But what matters are things like the people in the dream I had. All this is tertiary.

I'm private, and I try to keep at least a somewhat modicum of anonymity and I try to pass that along. So peace and love to you. Nothing is easy- especially this. My heart goes out to you and your friend's family if you read this.

VD

Coincidence Valentine's Day and venereal disease share common initials?

Anyways, it's never been a holiday really celebrated by the missus and me. The most traditional and romantic thing we do is order a heart shaped pizza. Our first VD I got her a brick of .22 shells and a bag of glass to break.

But this time it was different, though not intentionally so. I wanted to get her something special, just for being such a great mother and wife. She pointed out a piece of jewelry in the paper she liked, and it just so happens it's been a piece I've been wanting to get her for a while. So, after a couple of days (well, we went yesterday), the girl and I sneak down to the jewelry store, get for her and I dress the girl up in a frilly velvety frock to display her mom's new necklace.

Turns out it was a good surprise. Though it took her a while to figure out the girl had it on. And that it had diamonds.

Damn It

I hate fasting. Probably a good thing I'm not Muslim.

It's only for 12 hours, but no coffee, beer, gin or food until after the blood test. Lovely. I feel sorry for the people around me. I'll be tired, cranky or goofy or all the above.

And there's friggin' candy everywhere.

What I'd do for coffee right now.

Almost There!

I'm so close to getting my free iPod I can almost taste it! I have 3 for sure's and just need two more to go. I'm so excited. I know it's something stupid and I could better focus my energy on something else. But it's kind of fun and has given me something else to think about other than the other shit that keeps me awake at night.


Sometimes it's these little things that are fun to fill in the spaces of the day. Yeah, I could be obsessing about the Middle East or our educational system or where I'm going to be if I get shitcanned, but those are all issues so far out of my control it's not as much fun. Doesn't mean I don't give a damn. But will I get a free iPod or a free laptop for expressing my concerns to five people and then getting them to express their concerns? Hell no! Besides, there are so many better written, more well thought out political blogs than I could ever do. I mean, those people put effort into that shit and write daily about it and study it. Me, not so much. So I'll go after my free iPod instead.

I'm hoping for the 30GB Video iPod in black.

Best $12.50 I Ever Spent

Alright, so Pedro sat for a month or two. I thought the radiator was totally shot and I was going to have to replace it. Turns out a little Stop Leak and clean radiator fluid were all I really needed. So now I can turn the JoeMobile back in and be done with that. I'll miss the CD player but not much else.

So anyways, apparently in this part of the world mold will grow on your car if it sits too long. It's fucking disgusting. Now, Pedro not only has the stink from the previous owner's dogs and cigars, plus the three years of not being cleaned by yours truly, but also the funk of mold and mildew. And I have to drive the girl around in this nasty SOB. What's a fella to do? Take it to the car bath.

You're probably scratching your head and saying, "No shit, Red. Take your car to the car wash. You're fucking genius." Bear with me. I come from a line of people that believe you wash your own car unless you're lazy. One problem- I hate washing cars. I love driving them. But washing them sucks. I hate it.

So I take Pedro, with 3 years of filth and a fresh coat of black mold to the car wash. So did a bunch of other people. But the end result was beautiful. They cleaned up most of the mold, scraped off the carbon build up on the paint and made him cleaner than he's been in, well, 3 years. It's beautiful. I'm never washing my car again. Ever. Why do it when these people will do it better than me?

God Bless Elite Car Bath.

Surprise Surprise Surprise

What a delightfully gloomy Saturday. It's the kind of day where whenever you go outside you get soaked through your heavy canvas jacket, making it easy for the wind to get through the material and freeze you right to the bone. The clouds are just hanging dark and gray, threatening to dump even more rain into our already swollen rivers and ditches. The darkness of noon makes your little home seem like a dark little cave lit by the flashing blue fire of your television screen. It's the perfect day to spend huddled up under an old quilt your great grandmother patched together and watch whatever meaninglessness your satellite zaps onto your TV screen.

Where am I? At work.

I'm stressed. I knew balancing family and work would be tough, but throw in the aggravation of a paying side project and it's a situation perfect for overeating, over-drinking and chain smoking. Luckily I don't smoke and I've cut down on alcohol (down, not off). Guess who's going to gain 100 pounds in the next month?

In today's modern world where we've come to realize the importance of family and the whole "you can't take it with you" mindset, a few things surprise me. Like how even though I've arranged with my supervisors to pick up the girl early twice a week and I'm coming in an hour early to leave an hour early (which is within company policy) that I still kind of get a cold shoulder from some of the men on my team. What's even more surprising is they're from the supposedly insightful and kind "Generation Y" that Newsweek thought would be the saviour of the lazy, slacker "Generation X". Whatever. Those titles were stupid. And it's not like I don't get along with them- it's just when it's time for me to leave and I tell them goodbye for the day it isn't met with the usual "see ya laters" and other stuff. It's a quiet mumble and barely the acknowledgement of my exiting. I'm not expecting parades and tears; I'm just surprised that it's changed from what it was. And maybe it's because I was always the one telling them goodbye as they walked out the door on time while I stayed late.

The other thing that surprises me is how much of a failure you feel like you are. You don't feel like you're putting in the hours that are expected of you at work, yet you don't feel like you're giving the family the attention you feel they deserve. It's just like Christmas with divorced parents, but daily.

However, what's most surprising is how happy I am right now. Maybe I'm too tired to know. Maybe I just really could give a fucking shit and if I get sacked or whatever happens happens and I know it's not the end all be all. There's more important shit going on.

I'm finally learning my job doesn't define me.

I'm also learning that a little girl combined with the love of a good woman makes it even harder to get anything done.